1 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,260 Good evening. 2 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:33,630 We decided to utilize assembly line methods 3 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:35,900 in the making of our shows. 4 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:38,900 Mine is the last operation. 5 00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:40,970 You will notice one of our productions 6 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,500 coming along now. 7 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,980 A sprinkle or so of saccharine. 8 00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:51,650 A little pruning. 9 00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:58,750 A... one, two commercials... 10 00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:00,820 three commercials. 11 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,590 I-- here’s another one. 12 00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:08,360 I can see this is going to keep me 13 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,430 quite busy. 14 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,830 In the meantime, 15 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,900 suppose you look at one of the finished products. 16 00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:55,310 [door closes] 17 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,050 -Good morning. -[man] Morning. 18 00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,120 Can we be of assistance? 19 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:08,120 Well, uh... yes, I’d like some information. 20 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,560 But of course. 21 00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:12,330 You have lost a loved one. 22 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,530 Well, it’s rather difficult to talk about. 23 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:15,830 Well, of course. 24 00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,100 Shall we step into the counseling room? 25 00:02:18,130 --> 00:02:19,730 Thank you. 26 00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:21,670 Please sit down. 27 00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:28,110 Now... 28 00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,680 I’d like some information... 29 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,880 well, about a funeral. 30 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:34,550 Well, of course, 31 00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:36,820 at a time like this, the bereaved 32 00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:39,950 usually has a number of questions. 33 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:42,290 Now, I think you’ll find it easier 34 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,990 if we fill out this form. 35 00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:46,190 A form? 36 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,260 For the necessary details. 37 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,670 The disposition of the remains, 38 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,400 the name of the deceased, 39 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:54,370 and so on. 40 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,440 Um, could that wait for later? 41 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:59,940 I-I’m really interested in the arrangements. 42 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:04,050 Oh, certainly. I-I understand exactly. 43 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,650 Shall we start with the casket, then? 44 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,680 Well, if it’s customary. 45 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:09,950 Why, certainly. 46 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,790 We always want our clients to know exactly 47 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:13,690 what they are getting. 48 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,760 Shall we step this way? 49 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:34,380 [Simms] Now, here’s our Dignity service. 50 00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:37,780 This model has been most popular with our clients. 51 00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:40,820 This model, not including a floral selection, 52 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:42,520 and a gift to the officiate, 53 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:45,450 would cost $2600. 54 00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:48,220 2600? 55 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,460 Too expensive? 56 00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:54,430 Well, then. Never mind. 57 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,000 Over here we have something a little bit cheaper. 58 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,930 It’s scaled to meet the needs of everyone. 59 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,070 The Peerless model. 60 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,210 It combines simplicity with good taste. 61 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,740 Well, actually... 62 00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:11,650 what I had in mind was something more... 63 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,120 colorful. 64 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,650 You mean something more elaborate? 65 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,590 Yes. 66 00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:19,650 Oh, in that case... 67 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:23,060 allow me to recommend this. 68 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:29,130 Our Supremacy service. 69 00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:34,800 The casket of finest mahogany, 70 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,940 with bronzed embellishments 71 00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:39,370 and lined with quilted satin. 72 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,680 Our private chapel banked with flowers. 73 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,650 [Simms] Music by the finest organist 74 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,690 in the city. 75 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:56,660 A service, if I may say so, fit for a king. 76 00:04:56,690 --> 00:05:02,530 And, of course, is only $4,780. 77 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,800 Think of it as a last tribute to your loved one. 78 00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:10,610 I’ll take it. 79 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,340 You will never regret the Supremacy service. 80 00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:17,250 Now... 81 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:20,780 for a few necessary details, 82 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:25,620 what physician signed the death certificate. 83 00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:29,290 Oh, I’m afraid there isn’t any death certificate. 84 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,630 -No death certificate? -No. 85 00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:35,060 Well, this is most irregular. 86 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:39,370 W-What is the name of the deceased? 87 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,440 Well, there isn’t any deceased... 88 00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:42,770 yet. 89 00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:50,680 And then, Leonard, I had to get up 90 00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:53,420 and I had to drag myself, just as sick as I am 91 00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:56,920 all the way to the front door... 92 00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:58,690 Mr. Compson... 93 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,020 -[parrot screeching] -...and it was that man from the cleaners... 94 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,690 Oh, Cicero, honey, now, shh. 95 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:08,100 Mama is talking. 96 00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,700 Leonard? 97 00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:11,030 No. Listen to me. 98 00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:13,440 He wanted the bill for the last two months. 99 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:15,500 Now, I gave you the money for that bill, Leonard, 100 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,270 what did you do with it? 101 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,510 Did you spend it at that terrible old curio shop? 102 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,040 Because if you did, Leonard, 103 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,580 now, I’ve told you if you waste 104 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,310 any more of our money that way... 105 00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:28,180 -[Cicero screeches] -Oh, Cicero, now hush, now. 106 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,690 Shh... 107 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,050 Leonard? 108 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:34,060 Elsie, I haven’t been in Mr. Bradshaw’s shop 109 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,520 -for a couple of months. -[typewriter clacking] 110 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,660 And to-- 111 00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:42,760 You must know the truth. 112 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,230 There was a collection made in the office 113 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:47,140 for one of the girls who had an accident. 114 00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:49,640 Well, of course I gave it to them. 115 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,070 I don’t want them to think that my wife 116 00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:53,440 just only gave me lunch money! 117 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,910 No, Elsie, I... 118 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:57,080 I didn’t mean it that way. 119 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,810 If you would only listen to me, I-- 120 00:06:58,850 --> 00:06:59,810 [secretary] Mr. Compson? 121 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:01,080 Hold it. Yes? 122 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,280 Mr. Andrews is waiting. It’s very urgent. 123 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,020 Yes. I know. I’ll be right there. 124 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,320 Thank you. 125 00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:07,790 Elsie, I can’t talk to you now. 126 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:08,860 I’ll call you back. 127 00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,830 All right, Leonard. You go. 128 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:14,130 But don’t think that I’m going to forget this. 129 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,030 You have no idea of the value of money. 130 00:07:16,030 --> 00:07:17,700 I have to drum it into you? 131 00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,270 You’re going to have to realize that money 132 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,670 doesn’t grow on trees. 133 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,710 [drawer opening and paper rustling] 134 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,810 Mr. Bradshaw? 135 00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,780 Hello? 136 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,750 Mr. Bradshaw? 137 00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:13,720 Oh. 138 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,790 Well, Mr. Compson. 139 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:17,760 Haven’t seen you in quite some time. 140 00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,230 Well, your door was unlocked. 141 00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:21,400 Well, I was about to close up. 142 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,100 What can I do for you? 143 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,040 Well, if you are closing, maybe I better come back another time. 144 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,100 Oh, no. I wouldn’t hear of it. 145 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:30,910 As a matter of fact, I’ve been wanting 146 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:32,240 to get a hold of you 147 00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:33,780 Show you some stuff that I got in here. 148 00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:35,180 Oh, good. 149 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:38,450 Here. Take a look at this witch doctor’s mask. 150 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,250 It comes from Solomon Islands. 151 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,520 Ugly thing, isn’t it? 152 00:08:41,550 --> 00:08:43,490 Yes. 153 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,150 A ceremonial mask? 154 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,060 Yes. It’s used in the head hunting dance 155 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:49,560 before the tribe sets out to lop the noggins 156 00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:51,330 off a few of their neighbors. 157 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,090 Would you like to have it, Mr. Compson? 158 00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:54,360 No, thanks. 159 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,730 I’ve already bought two masks from you 160 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,730 [chuckles] So you have. 161 00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,770 Howsoever, here’s a little item that you might enjoy. 162 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,510 It’s a blowgun made by African pygmies. 163 00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,210 Shoots poisoned darts. 164 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,350 Poisoned darts? 165 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:12,850 The genuine article. Here. 166 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,890 You see that brown goo, there, on the tip? 167 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,020 -Oh, yes. -That’s the poison. 168 00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:21,020 I got this from a French sailor. 169 00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:25,390 Haven’t even had a chance to clean it off yet. 170 00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:27,230 The pygmy blows. 171 00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:29,030 [blowing] 172 00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,030 The dart hits a monkey up in a tree, 173 00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:33,800 down comes the monkey, deader than a doornail. 174 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,370 Just a scratch is all it takes. 175 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,540 Really? 176 00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:40,510 -As quick as that? -Yep. 177 00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:42,710 -As a matter of fact, maybe I-- -Oh, 178 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,110 I couldn’t sell it to you till I cleaned it up. 179 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:48,250 Can’t go around selling people poisoned darts, now, could I? 180 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,580 No. I guess not. 181 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,450 Howsoever... 182 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:54,520 if you want me to, I can lay it away for you. 183 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,160 No. I’m just looking today. 184 00:09:57,190 --> 00:09:59,590 To tell the truth, my wife doesn’t like my hobby. 185 00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:02,100 [chuckles] Women, they just don’t seem 186 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,500 to have the spirit of adventure, do they, Mr. Compson? 187 00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:05,470 No, they sure don’t. 188 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,670 But as long as you are here, 189 00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:08,200 let me show you a couple of beauties 190 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,940 I got in from Persia. 191 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:16,110 Here. 192 00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:19,150 Take it. Hold it. 193 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,220 Fell that balance. 194 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,850 And it’s just as sharp as a razor. 195 00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:28,520 Why, it could go into a man like cutting hot butter. 196 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,660 Yeah, but once you got it in... 197 00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,100 how would you get it out? 198 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,070 I think this will help you, Mrs. Compson. 199 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,140 Thank you, Dr. Maxwell. I know it will. 200 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,740 But I’d like you to stop in again tomorrow, just to check. 201 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,150 Yes, of course. If you want me to. 202 00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,280 Oh, I do, because, doctor... 203 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,820 you don’t know how I suffer sometimes. 204 00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,260 You know that for 15 years I’ve been an invalid 205 00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:02,920 because of him. 206 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,630 Ever since he took me on that horrible trip to Haiti. 207 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:07,360 Haiti? 208 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,830 Yes. 209 00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:11,570 Oh, that’s where I had my accident. 210 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,140 He insisted that I go with him 211 00:11:16,170 --> 00:11:18,670 and I climb some old ruins. 212 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,980 And I got dizzy and I fell. 213 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,480 And I was in a cast for months. 214 00:11:23,510 --> 00:11:26,680 And then this pain started... 215 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,250 Doctor? 216 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,120 Do you think if I got some heat treatments, 217 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:31,990 it would help? 218 00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,690 Well, Mrs. Compson, if you take my advice-- 219 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,720 [knocking on the door] 220 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:35,690 Leonard, is that you? 221 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,390 Well? come in. 222 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:41,100 You’re late, Leonard. 223 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,730 I had a few thing to attend to. 224 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,370 This is Dr. Maxwell 225 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,740 Doctor, my husband. 226 00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:48,400 -How do you do, Mr. Compson? -[Leonard] How do you do? 227 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,770 I’m glad I had the chance to meet you. 228 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,610 I was just telling your wife I think she ought to have 229 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,110 a little exercise, such as walking. 230 00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,540 Dr. Maxwell has been so encouraging. 231 00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:58,010 Thank you. 232 00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,780 Until tomorrow, Doctor. 233 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:04,050 Right, Mrs. Compson. 234 00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:05,050 [door closes] 235 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,520 I brought you milk. 236 00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,530 Another new doctor, Elsie? 237 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:21,800 You really don’t want me to get well, do you, Leonard? 238 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,940 Years ago Dr. Barnes said you should have some exercise. 239 00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:28,510 [Elsie] Never mind what Dr. Barnes said. 240 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,180 You’re disappointed because Dr. Maxwell 241 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,380 is going to help me. 242 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,950 You’d just rather I would die. Wouldn’t you, Leonard? 243 00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:43,290 How can you say such a thing? 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,930 You think I don’t know it? 245 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,630 Ever since you dragged me off to that horrible trip to Haiti, 246 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:50,970 you’ve been wanting me dead. 247 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,340 So you could go on your trip to the south seas 248 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,570 or the Orient or any one of those nasty, 249 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,470 little foreign countries. 250 00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,240 Elsie, I’m sorry about the accident. 251 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,880 I know it’s my fault. 252 00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,380 You go to that curio shop, 253 00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:05,780 and you get out of there and you think 254 00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:08,580 you’re Leonard Compson, Great White hunter, 255 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:11,850 or something equally idiotic. 256 00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:14,160 Leonard, you’re pathetic. You couldn’t kill a mouse. 257 00:13:15,890 --> 00:13:17,560 [exhales] 258 00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:20,930 I might surprise you, Elsie. 259 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,200 The only way that you could surprise me 260 00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:24,930 is to act like a man. 261 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,470 And you’re going to have to. 262 00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:35,280 You’re going to have to ask for a raise. 263 00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:37,650 You’re going to have to make more money. 264 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,950 You’re going to have to hire a real housekeeper 265 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,080 because I’m sick of your cooking and I’m sick 266 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,490 of that sloppy cleaning woman who comes here only once a week. 267 00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:54,300 You’re going to have to take care of me, Leonard, 268 00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:56,830 the way a husband should take care of a wife 269 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,770 that he has made a cripple of. 270 00:14:01,870 --> 00:14:04,040 You know what Dr. Maxwell said to me? 271 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,140 He said that if I take care of myself, 272 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:12,080 I can live another 30 years. 273 00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:13,950 You hear that, Leonard? 274 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:15,520 Another 30 years. 275 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,290 Oh, Mr. Simms. 276 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:28,660 [Simms] What? Mr. Compson. 277 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:31,600 Mr. Simms, I want you to handle all the details. 278 00:14:31,630 --> 00:14:33,070 Well, fine. 279 00:14:33,070 --> 00:14:34,700 Do you still want the Supremacy service? 280 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:35,640 Yes. 281 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,340 And here... 282 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:41,080 is $4,780 in cash. 283 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,780 I want $4,780 of Simms service. 284 00:14:43,810 --> 00:14:47,080 Why, quite so, Mr. Compson. Quite so. 285 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,420 You will be completely satisfied. 286 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:51,990 We will outdo ourselves. 287 00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:53,620 I’m counting on that. 288 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,120 Now, for a few necessary details. 289 00:14:57,460 --> 00:15:00,160 What is the name of the deceased? 290 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,030 You don’t have to worry about that now. 291 00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:05,570 Here is the address, I want you to come by tomorrow evening 292 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,840 to collect the party. 293 00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:11,240 Yes, but, uh... this is most irregular. 294 00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:13,740 Shall we say tomorrow evening, at 8:00? 295 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,740 -8:00? -Sharp. 296 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,930 [kid] Look out, Mr. Compson. I can’t stop. 297 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,330 [Leonard] All right, I’ve got you, here you go. 298 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,460 -There we are. -[clattering] 299 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,560 Thanks, Mr. Compson. 300 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,070 You almost took a tumble. 301 00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,500 You dropped something. 302 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,870 Oh, thank you. 303 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:42,940 What is it? 304 00:15:42,970 --> 00:15:44,640 [exhales] Well... 305 00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:46,410 Billy, that’s called an amulet. 306 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,740 That’s a good luck piece for somebody going on a trip. 307 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:49,980 You’re going on a trip? 308 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,350 Yes, I am. 309 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:52,980 I’d like to go on a trip. 310 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,680 [Leonard] Billy, you are on a trip. 311 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,650 Me? 312 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,090 Of course. 313 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,490 You know, every day can be a new adventure. 314 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,390 Someplace else to go, 315 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,590 somewhere new to see. 316 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,460 And even if you have to stay here in one place, 317 00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:07,860 there are books and pictures 318 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,600 that can take you to the far corners of the Earth. 319 00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,700 And you know, Billy? 320 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:15,840 It could be a wonderful adventure, 321 00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:18,770 but you must be careful not to take the wrong turn or... 322 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,940 you’ll end up in a stagnant swamp. 323 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,650 And there’s no way out. 324 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,110 You try not to do that. 325 00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:28,780 I don’t understand. 326 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,590 Well, I guess I was thinking out loud. 327 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,860 I have to go, Billy, take care. 328 00:16:33,890 --> 00:16:35,160 Goodbye, Mr. Compson. 329 00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:37,930 Have a nice trip. 330 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,260 Hey, Mr. Compson? 331 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,860 If you like to travel, 332 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,500 maybe you’d like to come to see the movie. 333 00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:45,130 What movie is that? 334 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,770 At our school. It’s about India. 335 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,070 My teacher gave me six tickets to sell. 336 00:16:50,070 --> 00:16:51,910 They’re only 50 cents each. 337 00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:53,540 Is that all? Well... 338 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,080 -[coins clattering] -...I think I can afford that. 339 00:16:56,540 --> 00:16:58,550 -Let’s see, now. -Thanks, Mr. Compson. 340 00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:00,250 They’re the first ones I’ve sold. 341 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,020 All right. So long. 342 00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:04,350 Hey, Mr. Compson! 343 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,720 You forgot your tickets. 344 00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:30,580 Here’s some tickets for you, Mrs. Compson! 345 00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:33,210 [Elsie] Billy Howard. Get off my lawn. 346 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:36,350 But I have some tickets for you, it’s a movie at our school. 347 00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:38,050 I’m not interested. 348 00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:39,490 Now, you know you children are forbidden 349 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,920 to come on my lawn. 350 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,730 But Mr. Compson already paid for these tickets. 351 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,160 It’s a movie about India, tomorrow night. 352 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,300 I said I wasn’t interested. 353 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,970 Mr. Compson knows that I never go out. 354 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,340 I can’t. I’m not well enough. 355 00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:57,610 Now go on, use the walk. 356 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:01,540 If you’re not well enough, how can you go on a trip? 357 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,010 What trip? 358 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,250 What are you talking about? 359 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:10,020 [Billy] Mr. Compson told me he was going on a trip. 360 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:12,020 He did, did he? 361 00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:13,590 And where is this trip to? 362 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:16,490 He just said as far away from here as he could get. 363 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,090 Where’s that? 364 00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:22,260 It’s no place at all. 365 00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:24,070 He isn’t going anywhere. 366 00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:36,340 [man] Thank you. 367 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,720 Excuse me... 368 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,050 do you have some rat poison? 369 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:44,090 Yes, sir. 370 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,390 If you have rats, this will take care of them. 371 00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:54,330 Uh... is that painless? 372 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,970 [chuckles] I don’t know, I never took any. 373 00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:58,830 Ah. Of course. 374 00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:01,040 I’m really looking for something that’s painless and quick. 375 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,110 It sounds like you’re planning a mercy killing. 376 00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,840 [chuckles] 377 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,410 Here’s what you want. 378 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,480 Now, this is the newest stuff. 379 00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:12,680 They’ll never know what hit them. 380 00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,650 I see. 381 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,120 -All right-- -Before you can buy that, 382 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:19,850 though, you have to sign a register. 383 00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:21,620 Oh, what’s the reason for that? 384 00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:25,330 Oh, it’s nothing serious, 385 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,760 it’s just so we can keep track. That’s all. 386 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,530 Oh, I see. Good. 387 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:49,420 [Elsie] Leonard? 388 00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:51,790 Leonard, is that you? I want to talk to you. 389 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,050 Yes. I’ll be right in. 390 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,280 How did you get in? I didn’t hear the front door open. 391 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,120 [exhales] 392 00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:24,520 I came in through the kitchen. 393 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:28,090 Sneaked in, you mean. 394 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,560 Where have you been? 395 00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:32,930 I had to work late at the office. 396 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,330 You never had to work late before. 397 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,070 Your job isn’t that important. 398 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,670 I had to make some final arrangements. 399 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,270 For your wonderful trip? 400 00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,770 My trip? 401 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,670 I heard all about it. 402 00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,980 Billy Howard told me. 403 00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:50,610 Now, Leonard, you can forget all about that. 404 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,150 There’s no money being spent around here 405 00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:55,280 on any trip. 406 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:55,950 Well... 407 00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:57,550 [chuckles] 408 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,220 ...it’s too late to change my plans. 409 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:04,830 I’ve quit my job. 410 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,560 -You what? -That’s right. 411 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,400 It’s something I should have done a long time ago. 412 00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:12,730 Oh, look at this. 413 00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:14,800 Here’s the insurance policy. 414 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,110 $5,000, I’ve cashed it in. 415 00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:21,240 And I’ve already spent $4,780 of it. 416 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,080 -You’re lying. -Oh, no. I’m not. 417 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,220 Job is gone. The insurance is gone. 418 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:31,750 There’s $220 left of that money and $20 in our savings account. 419 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,190 There would’ve been more, of course, 420 00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:35,260 but you spent every cent I’ve ever earned on medicine 421 00:21:35,290 --> 00:21:38,090 and doctors, for that illness you seem to enjoy so much-- 422 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:39,290 Something’s happening to you. 423 00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:40,500 You’re having a nervous breakdown-- 424 00:21:40,530 --> 00:21:42,600 I’m not having a nervous breakdown! 425 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,740 At last I’ve realized what I have to do. 426 00:21:46,770 --> 00:21:48,100 Anything would be better than to spend 427 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,300 another 30 years of the kind of life 428 00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:50,910 I’ve been living with you. 429 00:21:50,940 --> 00:21:53,170 You’ve been over that accident in Haiti 15 years ago. 430 00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:54,210 You’re as strong as a horse. 431 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,740 Stop that. You stop it. 432 00:21:55,780 --> 00:21:58,010 And you stop being idiotic. You’re not going anyplace 433 00:21:58,110 --> 00:21:59,880 because I won’t let you. 434 00:21:59,910 --> 00:22:01,580 There’s nothing you can do about it. 435 00:22:04,050 --> 00:22:05,450 I don’t know where I’m going exactly, 436 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,360 but any place would be better than this. 437 00:22:07,390 --> 00:22:08,690 [Elsie] You’re out of your mind. 438 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,590 [doorbell rings] 439 00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:14,400 There’s someone at the door. You’d better answer it. 440 00:22:14,430 --> 00:22:15,800 Me, answer it? 441 00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:17,330 Didn’t you hear what I said? Answer that door! 442 00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:18,600 All right, Leonard. 443 00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:20,240 -Hurry up! -All right. 444 00:22:42,690 --> 00:22:45,090 Good evening, madam. 445 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:46,730 [Elsie] What is it? 446 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,700 We have come for the body, as instructed. 447 00:22:49,730 --> 00:22:51,270 [Elsie] The body? 448 00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:52,470 Yes, madam. 449 00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:55,100 Leonard? 450 00:23:27,270 --> 00:23:30,610 that the appearance of a suicide on our program 451 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,410 in no way constitutes an endorsement of this 452 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,280 as a solution to life’s problems. 453 00:23:37,310 --> 00:23:39,210 There are many better means to get out 454 00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:41,280 of a difficult situation. 455 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,550 Money, for example. 456 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:46,220 And now, I shall return in a moment. 457 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,230 That is all for tonight. 458 00:23:57,700 --> 00:24:00,870 I wonder if we could leave out commercials now and then. 459 00:24:03,770 --> 00:24:06,710 Big Brother never sleeps. 460 00:24:06,740 --> 00:24:08,080 Goodnight.